The gentleman from Seattle rises to rebut

May I remind the esteemed Doctor Carlson that the most tender and delicate of buttocks have long been made right here in America and that this is a source of great pride for our country?

Surely future generations will not look down their noses at us for taking steps to protect the fine, cleft asses of the likes of Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Ginnifer Goodwin, and Scarlett Johansson?

Good god, man, would you put the preservation of the earth above that of Beauty Itself? We can always plant more trees, but how often are they going to have anything like this at the top of their stems?







Are you so mean spirited you would ask Jennifer Aniston to rub recycled pulp betwixt and between the cheeks of her ass?

Oh, good Doctor jazzolog, say 'tis not so!


Can you look this good woman in the eye and tell her you would choose to be rough with her tender hindquarters?



If so, you're a hard-hearted man, if not a cad, sir!

And I don't mind telling you, the ladies are very upset.

I hope you sleep well...