Why, yes!

I do come here often! Thank you for asking.


After all, it's one of the few places that will still have us, you know. I mean, knowingly, and...er...on purpose, sort of. The Wulfshead doesn't discriminate, you see. And they'll even feed us after midnight! You can't beat that.

All in all, I think we've gotten a bad wrap over the years. It's not like my kind is bent on man's extermination or anything like that. Though, I understand that there are those who are---other members of the Wulfshead, who were seen recently in the Poker Lounge (if you know who I mean)---and that 's okay, too. To be honest, our kind couldn't care less, one way or another.

What we want is, I think, what everyone wants, and what you, and the other patrons, here, have: civilization.

GrandpaFred: Yes, but what sort of civilization are you speaking of?

Brain Gremlin: The niceties, Fred. The fine points: diplomacy, compassion, standards, manners, tradition... that's what we're reaching toward. Oh, we may stumble along the way, but civilization, yes. The Geneva Convention, chamber music, Susan Sontag. Everything your society has worked so hard to accomplish over the centuries, that's what we aspire to; we want to be civilized.

[a Gremlin with a beanie cap acts goofy next to Brain]

Brain Gremlin: You take a look at this fellow here.

[Brain shoots the Gremlin in the head. The Gremlins in the bar laugh.]

Brain Gremlin: Now, was that civilized? No, clearly not. Fun, but in no sense civilized. Now, bear in mind, none of us has been in New York before. There are the Broadway shows - we'll have to find out how to get tickets. There's also a lot of street crime, but I believe we can watch that for free. We want the essentials. Dinettes. Complete bedroom groups. Convenient credit, even though we've been turned down in the past.