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The Wulfshead club is a well known watering hole for all the strange and unusual people in the world. And for those just passing through... No one's quite sure exactly where the club itself is located, and the very anonymous management likes to keep it that way, but there are authorized access points at locations all around the world, if you know where to look. And if your name's on the approved list.
~Simon Green, Daemons Are Forever
~Simon Green, Daemons Are Forever
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Tomorrow's news
Tell the concierge about it:
SHAKEN NOT STIRRED
And the bartender sez~~~
ReplyDeleteThat bartender sez~~~"whities can't dance," sir!
ReplyDelete(Not me, sir, I wouldn't never presume. And present company excluded, I am sure. I know the gentleman is a "family man who dances.")
He also said , he didn't see much "Brothers or Sistahs" at The Wulfshead.
What do you think, sir?
By the look of the list of current patrons and visitors and friends, sir, I'd say that for all the attitude, and ostentatious "snarkiness," they all look pretty "white bread" as the brother put it. (Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course.)
In any case, it was nice having someone helping out with the bar for a day. I hope he'll come back.
Say, the gentleman would not happen to be interested in working the bar, would he?
ReplyDeleteI haven't been around as much as I should have lately---that with the trouble with the waitresses and the washroom attendant and all that. And the management is thinking about installing one of those fully automatized bar. A god-awful idea, if you ask me, sir. The management says that neither God nor the devil have anything to do with it. It's the nature of The Wulfshead that they do not take sides in that regard. All the same, sir, my experience had taught there are benefits to a human presence (or to some kind of sentience) at the bar. I did ask Lady Nausica but apparently a recent comment by one of the patrons caused her to realize that her presence here might have been too prevalent. She said she prefers never to dominate a site and thought she would shut up for a while and see what kind of atmosphere develops. As for Tom Bombadil, well, I am sure you know Tom's wanderlust better than I do, sir. It's hard to keep him in one place for very long.
OK, here's how it goes.
ReplyDeleteA rabbi, a priest, and Tom Bombadil walk into a bar. And the bartender sez~~~
"What is this supposed to be? A JOKE?"
Exactly! I see that the gentleman got my point, imagine how that would look.
ReplyDeleteI didn't ask Dr. Zaius either for the same reason. I mean, it's not year 3,979 yet, sir. And what would people think of an orang-outang running the bar. The Wulfshead's librarian is causing enough of a steer as it is. Besides, Dr. Zaius is an eminent scientists and also Chief Defender of the Faith, sir. What would people say?
Er, I see...that, huh, it is beginning to look like the gentleman came only as a distant fourth choice! How gauche of me, sir. It's not at all like that, sir, let me assure you.
I hope the gentleman will not allow this to prejudice his response to what was a most sincere and genuine offer on my part.
I know how the gentleman must feel about this. Believe me, I do, sir. I mean who wants to be a bartender?
ReplyDeleteIt does have its perks though.
Er...
Lemme see...
Ah, here is one:
There is that cute bouncer who will assist you if you need her.
Not that there ever was much need for that. Except maybe that one time---it did turn out it was a false alert as I recall.
What else?
Ah, yes! While, the management prefers it for people to find their own way to The Wulfshead, it is however one of the prerogatives of the bartenders here that they do get to invite anyone they choose.
I am sure the concierge will tell the gentleman more about it, if you care to ask him, sir.
I love bar jokes!---here is another one:
ReplyDeleteA good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". When they got up on the second floor, the good Samaritan asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep".
Then the good Samaritan got to thinking that quite possibly the man was married and, if so, he didn't care to face the man's wife because she would likely be irate and tired and she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved the man through it then went back downstairs. However, as he made his way outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". So he did and shoved the man through the same door he had the first drunk. Then ran back downstairs.
Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, protect me from this man...
He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"