I was hoping that maybe some of my good drinking buddies at the Wulfshead could help me sort this one out.
Vacation times, you see… Well, I just can’t seem to make up my mind.
What shall it be this year?
Other than Orlando, Florida, or the "People's Republic of Hawaii," that is.
I have narrowed it down to two potential locations which best epitomize "the conservative principles that are so fundamental to the survival of our nation."
First on my list is Milton Friedman’s beach club:
As seen on 60 Minutes' "Dubai Inc." (reported by Steve Kroft), “it is a story of peaceful, constructive excellence and the pursuit of dreams. A story very much in line with true American values.” An oasis of free enterprise without income taxes, trade unions or oppositions parties (there are no elections).
The thing with Dubai is that it can be pretty expensive, but I understand that foreign laborers are welcome there. So, I figured, hey, it's a free country and if it comes to that there is always the possibility for one of making some money on the side, while enjoying the city and its amenities.
But then again, who wants to work during their vacation?---kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?
Fortunately there are no shortages of Libertarian paradises in the world, and some of them do not necessarily require you to be a millionaire or to indenture yourself in order to pay your way through.
I don’t know -- I am kind of leaning toward Somalia.
What do you think?
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Try Las Vegas.
ReplyDeleteOnce driving to Califoniaye our car broke down on the Hoover Dam bridge. Spent a week in Vegas.
Back in those days it was a good place to be broke in. Everyone was used to it. It appears a lot of well meaning people show up there and for some mysterious reason go home broke, that is, if they have enough money left to go home. In other words, they were like us. Moneyless. So I can guarantee that the Vegas of the Mafia was a fine place, with free shows, plenty of beautiful girls, and lots of bright lights. It was swell. Though I can't promise what the new, better corporate Vegas is like. Over the top?
So, if you want to go to Dubai, and risk being chased out on your camel into the desert, that's your choice. And, as you say, you don't have to pay any taxes. But Vegas is (was?) a great place to bum in.
And let's not forget, the Mafia is an excellent alternative to Socialism.
ReplyDeleteAt the next Olympics don't forget to root for Somalia!
Ah! It's a small world after all!
ReplyDeleteDid you know that just only three months ago, his Highness Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, UAE Vice President & Prime Minister and Ruler of Dubai (the crown prince prefers to be referred to as the chief executive officer of Dubai), was formally opening The Dubai Mall (the world’s largest shopping mall) and the famous Dubai Fountain (the crowning glory of the opening celebration)? Well, the fountain was designed by none other than California-based WET, the creators of the Fountains of Bellagio in Las Vegas!!!
There is just one moon and one golden sun
And a smile means friendship to everyone.
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide
It's a small small world
We're staying close to home this year, touring the emergency rooms of all the hospitals in our area. You'd be surprised how amenable the staff becomes, after the lengthy and restful admission process, when they discover there is nothing wrong with us. We just want a proper liedown for a few hours---and maybe a shot of oxygen. Lunch is brought to you in bed and it's on the house. Plus, they all wear those starchy uniforms...in case you enjoy a fetish.
ReplyDeleteActually we have insurance so everybody benefits from our tour. The premiums of the others in our group plan may go up slightly after this, but it's a little like taking a vacation with many of your best friends.
We've stayed overnight in a couple of the ERs, and quite frankly it can get a little loud. But it's not much worse than a pickup truck full of revelers at 3 AM, or an overhead floor of conventioneers at fine motels we have known. And we paid hard cash for those experiences.
And oh, how could I forget! If you're one of the new breed of rugged, wilderness vacationers, I recommend adding the Death Panel feature to your package. Most hospitals will bring one in at a moment's notice, and if you get the thumbsdown they can arrange organ donations right on their laptops.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone thought of jail?
ReplyDeleteNow there you can really get away from the world, and keep the outside world at bay. Why, you even have bars to help do it. And if you like noise in the middle of the night it's absolutely guaranteed you will have it, plenty of noise.
Yes, to get away from it all, try jail. Meals, daily exercise, perhaps even love. And no one from the outside to bother you. Guaranteed.
Ah, but there is no "getting away from the world," is there, now?
ReplyDeleteCertainly not in jail, nor in any gated community either---not even in a so-called "Libertarian paradise" such as Dubai. Nor in a survivalist retreat, a residential land trust, an ecovillage, a commune, a kibbutz, an ashram, an earth sanctuary, and housing cooperative,....not even in space.
"Then the Lord said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?"
"I know not," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?"
"Then, with his children, clothed in skins of brutes,
ReplyDeleteDishevelled, livid, rushing through the storm,
Cain fled before Jehovah. As night fell
The dark man reached a mount in a great plain,
And his tired wife and his sons, out of breath,
Said: "Let us lie down on the earth and sleep."
Cain, sleeping not, dreamed at the mountain foot.
Raising his head, in that funereal heaven
He saw an eye, a great eye, in the night
Open, and staring at him in the gloom.
"I am too near," he said, and tremblingly woke up
His sleeping sons again, and his tired wife,
And fled through space and darkness. Thirty days
He went, and thirty nights, nor looked behind;
Pale, silent, watchful, shaking at each sound;
No rest, no sleep, till he attained the strand
Where the sea washes that which since was Asshur.
"Here pause," he said, "for this place is secure;
Here may we rest, for this is the world's end."
And he sat down; when, lo! in the sad sky,
The selfsame Eye on the horizon's verge,
And the wretch shook as in an ague fit.
"Hide me!" he cried; and all his watchful sons,
Their finger on their lip, stared at their sire.
Cain said to Jabal (father of them that dwell
In tents): "Spread here the curtain of thy tent,"
And they spread wide the floating canvas roof,
And made it fast and fixed it down with lead.
"You see naught now," said Zillah then, fair child
The daughter of his eldest, sweet as day.
But Cain replied, "That Eye--I see it still."
And Jubal cried (the father of all those
That handle harp and organ): "I will build
A sanctuary;" and he made a wall of bronze,
And set his sire behind it. But Cain moaned,
"That Eye is glaring at me ever." Henoch cried:
"Then must we make a circle vast of towers,
So terrible that nothing dare draw near;
Build we a city with a citadel;
Build we a city high and close it fast."
Then Tubal Cain (instructor of all them
That work in brass and iron) built a tower--
Enormous, superhuman. While he wrought,
His fiery brothers from the plain around
Hunted the sons of Enoch and of Seth;
They plucked the eyes out of whoever passed,
And hurled at even arrows to the stars.
They set strong granite for the canvas wall,
And every block was clamped with iron chains.
It seemed a city made for hell. Its towers,
With their huge masses made night in the land.
The walls were thick as mountains. On the door
They graved: "Let not God enter here." This done,
And having finished to cement and build
In a stone tower, they set him in the midst.
To him, still dark and haggard, "Oh, my sire,
Is the Eye gone?" quoth Zillah tremblingly.
But Cain replied: "Nay, it is even there."
Then added: "I will live beneath the earth,
As a lone man within his sepulchre.
I will see nothing; will be seen of none."
They digged a trench, and Cain said: "'Tis enow,"
As he went down alone into the vault;
But when he sat, so ghost-like, in his chair,
And they had closed the dungeon o'er his head,
The Eye was in the tomb and fixed on Cain."
—The Conscience, from The Legend of the Centuries by Victor Hugo
(Translated by Dublin University Magazine)