There's a Bright Side?

It's taken me nearly two years to see the bright side of life. This weekend I had a "Light Bulb" moment & shortly after I couldn't stop whistling that ridiculous clip (...and hopefully now, you too will have it stuck in your head for daaays *snicker* ;-).

I was a very late & unexpected baby. jinDad was supposed to be shooting blanks according to his MD (then again, it was the 70's & one wonders how, after zero tests, the doc could legally say 'you don't need a vasectomy because surely you'll be sterile after having the mumps'... I do not jest, either).

On top of my parents being older for starters, they aged even faster than average. They were both heavy drinkers, huge eaters & jinMom was quite the smoker- along with pretty much my entire extended family (and peeps wonder why I refused to take back my maiden name after the divorce- I was jinbarrassed to).

When their health started failing during my early 30's I was mortified that I found myjinself dealing with issues that most peeps first encounter when they are in their 50's. I recall two of my clients in particular, both millionaires, both in their late 50's, sympathizing with what I had to deal with as they were doing the same. I couldn't help being irritated... the same? While trying to run my business alone I had to chase endlessly because my parents couldn't afford to hire aides... not nearly the same. I was concerned jinMom's hospital bills & lack of insurance would bounce back & eat away at my assets because of the once-upon-a-time partnership (which was never, totally, legally dissolved properly)... not the same at all.

Last January jinMom ended up in a nursing home after an extended stay in the hospital with no supplemental insurance. Again I had to do the footwork, letting my business slide beyond belief, but I got lucky. Really lucky. jinMom was able to get full aid from the state; at the time it wasn't certain to be permanent, but since then it has worked out that it will be. She is currently completely taken care of (she's mostly bedridden) with very very little required of me.

I'm currently working to get jinDad in the same facility, in an affordable section which should be covered entirely by his social security (with possible additional aid if he runs short *fingers crossed*). Do me a favour & send me well-wishes as I'd love to have him in there within the next 2 months! They currently have no openings but he's top on the waiting list. He is ready to move there also, I've discussed it with him.

So back to my Light Bulb! I finally turned around the angry & realized the wonderful- I'll be totally free, without having to deal with the 'rents, while I'm still young! Free to concentrate on me for a change! FREE!

Of course, a jin must be completely & totally free. I am Virgo-to-the-core so I like to sever those ties. I am closing my business & walking away. I shall lose the building (it's mortgaged) but it matters not. I need a fresh start. Being a small business owner for the past 17 years I have no savings so I will sell everything I own & hope I have enough dough (pun jintended ;-) to ease my fears of walking away without looking back.

I'm so tired of hearing the negative:

• After 17 years of your life what have you got to show for it? "My self esteem, talent & business experience thankyouverymuch!"
• You shouldn't give up your business to chase a man! "I am not chasing a man. The decision to close & move was mine & mine alone. The fact that there happens to be a man going with me is simply a bonus."
• Can't you stick around longer & try to sell your business & the building? You can't just leave everything! "Um, yes...yes I can. I'm tired of taking care of everyone else & leaving my business/myself for last. If I stay here that is what will continue to happen. I'd rather start over if it's meant to be. I refuse to 'cling' to 'stuff'. The wisdom I have accrued is much more valuable than a 2-story brick building. It's my time to move on."

And move on I shall... as I have been procrastinating all day, the trip to the Credit Union, to remove jinMom's access from her/jinDad's account. I must. Sadly, she's been trying to sabotage my efforts (morphine induced or years of hatred- I honestly do not know anymore) to tie up all the loose ends before I go.

May I have a stiff shot of something before I head out Bartender?