Gird Your Loins!

The mystery of the werewolves in the attic is nothing compared to a new crisis rumbling through the lower regions. Wulfshead patrons historically are tough and on the front lines. Any question of a softening of anal fortitude must be nipped in the to speak. We are on the cutting edge! And so custodial services, harken to the latest mandate for our virgin forests~~~
"The tenderness of the delicate American buttock is causing more environmental devastation than the country's love of gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions, according to green campaigners. At fault, they say, is the US public's insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom....
"'Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age. Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution.' Making toilet paper has a significant impact because of chemicals used in pulp manufacture and cutting down forests.
"A campaign by Greenpeace seeks to raise consciousness among Americans about the environmental costs of their toilet habits and counter an aggressive new push by the paper industry giants to market so-called luxury brands."
Let those aggressive paper giants push away---unggghhkk. In The Wulfshead head we will push back!


  1. This is why I've long employed minions to use reusable towels in cleaning my buttocks.

  2. The Irish have an interesting way of 'taking the piss'
    Curious, does the Wulfhead have a washroom attendant waiting with mints and fluffy towels?

  3. Ah, Ma'am. Don't get me started with the washrooms. No sign of relief any time soon, I am afraid.

  4. My sense of history

    is always revived whenever I enter into a Parisian gent's.

    There are two footstones there in the gloom, on which, any well seasoned (or unseasoned) traveler knows, to place one's feet upon. Having stationed oneself gingerly thus one unzipps and, upon grappling to find the slit in one's underwear (do the ladies here know about all this?) one whips oneself out and let's loose on the bare, barren sone or cement wall. Thus flooding all the bare ground surrounding the two upraised footstones one stands upon. Hoping the water one is making doesn't spray back upon one's self. Or on one’s pantslegs. For these little lost craters in the bowels of the bar or medieval restaurant one finds oneself in are often barely lit, or unlit, and fowl with the remainders of previous patrons who once used the facilities. The scent of amonia being overpowering.

    Now, having come this far, I don't remember why or when or for what purpose I ever started out here. My memories, being, if you will allow me to say so, extremely ripe. For I expect to soon revisit some of these sites which rarely are covered in Fodor’s.

    But when it comes to hygiene, let us not forget, fondling oneself, getting a grip, so to speak, does not result in picking up nearly as many germs as placing one's bare fingertip upon the silver handle of a conventional toilet. Which is why, in both cases, employees are always admonished to wash up. Patrons, I think you will agree, should too.

    If there are any further questions you can find me in a conventional American bar just down the street from here. Wherever "here" is. I’ll be there, though.

  5. The reason I am asking is... Have you used The Wulfshead's restrooms, recently?

    The Bartender is right, it's quite... disorienting. I don't know who the designer was but I suspect the design in that hotel in Queenstown was a strong influence.

    I wonder what the woman's restroom might look like?

  6. No one past 50 ever should risk "whipping it out."

    And as for that elder status, the topic here is toilet tissue which we dribbling ones finally come to use in urination. Previously however a guy simply does the shake and dance...even in France. Or is that giggle and jiggle?

  7. First of all, no, I'm not familiar with the Sofitel in Queenstown, New Zealand. But I'll check it out.

    As for Jazzo's remarkes, I think we have the voice of wisdom and experience here. And we should mark his words.

  8. I thank Quinty for his deference to me in the experience department. However, a complete investigation of our individual histories might reveal his own prowlings have been more vast than my own. I might also caution the gentle reader in the event a conclusion is drawn that I am his elder. That is not the case.

  9. Sorry,

    I did't mean to offend you.

    But I will have another drink.

  10. I'm buying? Things haven't changed.

    Say Quinty, why don't you see about putting up a Luis or 2 in go with the other marvelous artwork? Not particularly in the restrooms, but otherwise I'm sure your father would have approved.

  11. Only if you insist. On buying that is.

    As for the artwork, if anyone is curious, go here.

    Good night.........